Self Improvement | What Other People Think of Me is None of My ...

By Irene Conlan -

The first time I heard the statement, ?What other people think of me is none of my business,? I objected quite loudly to its validity. I have since changed my mind and celebrate the truth of it.

What we think of ourselves is what is important. Our own self-image and self-esteem allows us to move forward with confidence because we like who we are or it holds us back because we think that somehow we are not ?good enough,? don?t ?measure up,? ?don?t deserve,? etc.

Our self-image/self-esteem develops as we mature. As children we learn who we are primarily from our parents, siblings and other significant ones around us. If we buy in to negative statements such as, ?You?ll never amount to anything,? or comments that we are too fat, too thin, too stupid, too young, too old ? too anything ? we probably store it on the negative side of the self-esteem balance sheet. If we are encouraged and given positive feedback we probably have a positive balance on our self-esteem balance sheet.

Our self-image/self-esteem is also greatly influenced by the reaction we perceive other people have to us.? If they are unfriendly, move away, say mean things, or act in some other negative way to us, we may wonder, ?What?s the matter with me?? There is probably nothing the matter with you. The other person may be having a bad day or is just generally unfriendly. If you like yourself, you can usually shrug off their remarks and/or actions, but if you do not like yourself, you may take their negative remarks and/or actions quite personally, letting it fester until it ruins your day.

A fairly realistic and consistent rule of thumb is that most people are so busy thinking about themselves and their own ?stuff? that they are not interested in us and probably aren?t thinking about us at all. And, if they enjoy negative thinking and speaking, gossip, rumors and hearsay they have lost most of their credibility. So why are you worried about what they think? If they are spreading lies and innuendo, my getting upset about it won?t make a bit of difference.

If I like who I am, know that I do the best I can, am honest in my transactions on every level and treat other people with kindness, what does it matter what other people think?

And so I reiterate, ?What other people think of me is none of my business.? It?s strictly their business and I don?t have to bother with it.

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